Run in’s with the Law
Summer is at school (and I haven’t been called in yet) so I assume she is behaving. So whilst we have a bit of quiet ahead of the weekend I think it’s time I let you delve in a little deeper into how bad it can really get. Her antics can make us a giggle but sometimes it goes too far and living with her ‘confident’ nature takes its tholl (I am 29 and considering Botox as my face is stuck in constant frown) One of her favourite tricks is phoning my dad and telling him that I have been hitting her for 36 days now. My dad gets all pretend angry and says that he is going to tell me off, put me on the naughty step and Summer loves it each and every time ( I am not a smacky mummy btw – largely because I can never catch her)
Let me take you to a time where although in hindsight the catalogue events seem hilarious – at the time I really thought Summer would be carted off!
It’s around this time last year – Summer is in my bed fast asleep , its 1 am and a cool breeze is coming in through the windows, my quiet suburban street is still. My niece 16 (who used to live with us ) is in her room next door talking to boys under her pillow thinking that I think she is asleep.
Summer starts stirring, she has a little temperature, she’s wriggling …..she starts to moan then before you know it she is in full blown night terror attack.
Summer has had a few night terrors over the years. They are quite disturbing, she is angry and scared and is screaming and lashing out. She has been known to throw a glass at me, slap me and generally humiliate me. This time round I know better. I keep my distance, try not to wake her but ensure she is safe as she thrashes around on the bed screaming, yelling, spitting (think exorcist movie girl ) she doesn’t want me near her, scratching my hands as I try to sooth her. It all becomes a bit too much and after 15 mins of the madness I ask my niece to come in and take over as I go downstairs and call up part- time dad and ask him to come home and help.
I put the phone down and light a fag out the back door as I let the dog out for a wee.
‘Ding Dong’ – damn part- time dad is quick !!!
I open up the front door fag in hand, wearing nothing else but a baggy T-shirt ready to send him upstairs to deal with his daughter, when instead I am greeted by 2 police officers……Shit
The neighbours have called them, fearing the worst after they didn’t get a response when they knocked to see if we were ok. Thinking that Summer had finally followed through with her threats and actually killed me.
Understandably the police are already judging me. I am that mum….that mum with a fag in her hand, while her daughter is upstairs crying….shit.
Police lady runs upstairs to see to Summer whilst police man keeps me downstairs! Oh this is bad…there already keeping me away from her….shit.
Police lady comes to the top of the stairs hands on hips and asks me why Summer isn’t wearing any knickers ….WTF?? ‘it’s 1 in the morning’ I yell…’I am not even wearing any knickers we were all in bed!’ police man looks uncomfortable as I tug my T-shirt down.
Soon Summer stops crying and I hear her bemused chatter upstairs as her and my niece are spoken to in their room. I take police man through to the lounge where my over excited staffy-cross leaps up on him. ……Shit…
I am that mum.. a mum who walks around naked…smoking fags…with a dangerous dog….whilst my child is upstairs crying at 1 in the morning..
In ten minutes the whole situation is resolved the police leave after checking I am not on the sex offenders list , I say how terribly impressed I am with their quick response and the care of my neighbours (bastards) all they while still surprisingly without a pair of knickers on.
Summer is upstairs buzzing that the police came round and I notice how niece has failed to put her sheets on the bed and is sleeping on the bare mattress – Jesus!!! we might as well have smeared faeces on the wall.
‘What did the nice police lady say summer’ …
‘she asked about this’….pointing to the burn mark on her backside where she sat on nieces straighteners’ last week….shit
‘and she asked if you hurt me mummy’
Niece is pissing herself laughing.
‘but I’m not going to tell them how you have been hitting me for 36 days!!’