Not once has Summer responded to the question "what have you done at school today?" with an academic account.
Today she responded: "some boy got kicked in the nuts, and his nuts bled"
Nuts? Where did she get the term nuts from? Has she been hanging out with Millwall fans again. I am more a fan of "bollocks" myself and Part time dad is "balls"
"What did you do in school?"
"Have a jacket potatoe for lunch, this girl picked her nose and so and so is being mean to so and so"
"Did you read?"
"Did you do math"
"No - but so and so spat in my sandwich"
"Oh dear" who's bullying my girl?
"Its ok I let him"
I would love to be a fly on the wall when Summer is at school. I am told she is popular .. I imagine her sat in a secret corner of the playground with a huddle of kids around her mezmerised as Summer imparts all the bad things she knows. "Lesson one Cockblocking, Lesson two flooding, lesson three the booby grab" it seems the kids love her, but I'm not so sure about the parents. I am not in with the school yummy mummy set as I work full time, but on the rare ocassion I get to drop Summer at school at the normal time, i am treated with suspicion, i created Summer, the girl who is damaging the minds of reception and therefore I must be avoided at all costs. Once I saw a nanny physicaly shield her child from Summer and me whilst she gave me one of the most disgusting looks imaginable.
When Summer started school I told her to behave because I had installed a secret camera in the classroom so I could watch her at work and see what she is up to. She spent the first month scowering the room to find the camera, and when she thought she had found it she would come home and ask me if I saw her pulling faces, stealing pens, the boy she had put it a headlock for me and frequently wiggling her bum to 'camera' . Soon after that her teacher and I decided it was time for the 'camera' to come down.
I will never know what she does at school, I'm not sure if I want to.