Its 17 days until payday. I have exactly £87 pounds to survive on. No benefits are coming to save me on Wednesday, there's no mum to bail me out. The bank man said he wouldnt feel comfortable loaning me a pen let alone extending my overdraft. Anything worth ebaying has been ebayed. Part time dad wont make a penny as an escort. I have to get to work (£6.50 per day), pay for a school trip (£12 for somewhere she has already been )and buy groceries,laundry and pet food (£80) I have to also hope Summer manages not to loose/break her school shoes in this time (6th pair this year)
Things aren't looking good. I'm no mathemation but the formula for survival over the next 2 weeks and 3 days is looking like E=Mc2 = Fucked!
You could say I am feeling somewhat stressed,anxious,annoyed. And it is this time my darling daughter decides to be at her most annoying. Pushing every button in the hope that I go into full panic attack melt down and the ambulance is called again (she likes the flashing lights). I am trying to do the math whilst see what I can rustle up with a can of chickpeas and a cuppa soup for my tea. She is bouncing off the walls, tying the cat and dog together with her rosemary beads, whilst again screaming at the boy next door to jump out of his window.(I pray he never actualy believes that she will catch him) I just want 5 mins to breathe and come up with a plan. She wont settle down to bed she is jumping and giggling, chatting and playing. I reach bursting point. I lie on my bed and switch on my Relax app. The soothing hypnosis tones of a man I dont know telling me I am a 'strong confident women...relax' ahhhh yes I will relax. Summer strolls in curious as to who the man is in my room (this is a novelty) she sits next to me in silence listening to the hypnosis tape.
Now I dont know if hypnosis is like vodka, i.e the smaller you are quicker it takes effect, but by the time hypnosis man counted down from ten Summer had passed out next to me. I checked she was breathing, I shook her a bit...she was out for the count. I have hypnotised my daughter to go to sleep!. I feel somewhat guilty, stupid that I never tried this before. I have found a secret weapon that will turn bedtime into a relaxing pleasant time that can have Summer knocked out in 3 mins.
This is great....probably unethical, but fantastic.
I have 82 pounds left until payday, but hypnotising your child is priceless.
In other news : Summer wouldnt get out of bed this morning, so I told her that she would miss her school trip if she didnt hurry up. When we got to the bus stop I told her I got the days mixed up. I knew it wasnt today all along, I'm horrible.