Day 2 - What u been eating?

Sat here thinking about what to write for Day 2. Nothing can top this morning. Plus Summers been at the cinema with the neighbours (they understand Summer and the fact I might need some space. I love em) i havent had much exposure to her antics.
She's been home 30 mins and done nothing out of the ordinary (for her) she's thrown me some gang signs (i think she's bloods tonight'). Pole danced the cat. Rambled about her dreams and how the letter E makes them go away (funny, an E used to give me great dreams)
Its straight to bed because it's been a long day. I lie down for a cuddle and then i vomit in my mouth because she has let one rip. Anyone who has spent a bit of time with her would have probably smelt it and understand why my nostrils are burnt.
When she was a baby part time dad and I thought it was the milk and puree veg pots...she'd grow out of it ...but it never has gone. They're usually silent and creep up on you. Its the smell of rotting death mixed with egg and vomit. Its beyond natural and lingers no matter what ventilation you offer it . I'am sure there is a direct link between global warming in the last 5yrs and Summers backside. Guantanimo bay should use her for torture. Skunks could hire her as a guard dog. Gypsies would leave abandoned carparks, and the Terminator 'would not be back'. Summers poop stinks! But she will point blank look you in the eye with a straight face and tell you 'you dealt it bruv'

Day 2 - Hidden treasures

Hidden Treasures

A funny thing happened whilst on the way to my morning pee.
It's a beautiful time of day, Summer is asleep, the cat is having its morning stretch,the birds tweet.
 I am taking a liberating semi naked stroll to the bathroom. I approach the throne, bend to squat......bang... A zebra head on a pencil falls out from my stomach.
I imagine the shock I am in is somewhat similar to what Sonya Jackson (eastenders) went through when she unsuspectingly poo'd out her baby.
Then I piece the event together. ..
Summer was drawing on my bed last night ... I've gone to bed .... managed to have lodged the pencil into a fold of tummy fat.(I say fold, its more like the depth of an arse crack attached to my abdomen) ,And there the zebra slept with me secretly all night until the gentlest of squats released him, gasping for air on the bathroom floor.

This is Summers fault for 2 reasons.
1-its her pencil that she should have put away
2- she caused the bum fold by making me have a cesarian to get her stubborn melon out.