It’s been a while hasn’t it? I’m sorry I ever left you; I didn’t want to ….but she made me.
You see my little blog was going somewhere, people liked my funny little stories and word was spreading. 365 Days of Summer had gone international. I had a following in France! New Zealand!! Blackpool!!!!!!
People, important people wanted more, made me promises that if I just finished the blog – got to day 365 we could work with you. An E-Book, a book, a show one day! – Just keep writing.
And I’m thinking….’this is it’! This is my happy ending because the years of battling, the guilt, the social services calls, the cock blocking and judgment I have endured for being Summer’s mother would finally pay off – just keep writing and finish the blog.
And so I sat and waited for Summer to be Summer, because every day she gives me a nugget to write about, every day there was an inappropriate comment, a ‘situation with your child again Ms R’ from school, an eye roll from the public – my muse always gives me something.
So I waited
And waited…… and she looked back at me blankly, sat quietly with a smug half smile on her face. I could almost hear her say ‘’I’m not your performing seal mummy, this…. what we have here…this will play out just the way I want it to ''
And she gave me sweet F.A.,nada, zilch, NOTHING!
I couldn't finish the blog – I had nothing to work with.
For 18 months she kept it up – even going as far as joining the local Salvation Army!
And I just couldn't write any more and all my hopes and dreams were crushed once more by Summer.
That is until last week she gave me a slither to work with.
‘ohhhh this is nice, strawberry’’ I heard her lip smacking in my room whilst I was enjoying a harassment free shit in the loo.
‘’mmmm mummy can I have it all’’ she asked.
‘’yeah’’ I said annoyed that she found the Haribo.
I flush, I walk in to see her watching CBBC sat on the edge of my bed, the bed side draw pulled out, sucking on a sample packet of strawberry lube.
‘’ this is nice mum, where did you get it? Can I have the blackcurrant one?’’
And I’m so happy – so overjoyed that my little muse is back that I even suggest we knock up some rice pudding and use it as Jam.