I have been waiting for nearly 6 years now to figure out if I am going to be lumbered with and almighty huge orthodontist bill come 2019.
When Summer was born - like all children, she was born toothless - apart from that recent freak birth where some Romanian kid was born with a full set of gnashes. When she was taken out of my womb and I looked at her for the first time - I thought this girls gums don't look right - she is going to have a gap tooth at the front - actually that was the second thing I thought, the first was ''why is this kids face hairy'' - Jesus with those 2 defining features you wonder why the bonding period was strained.
Everyone told me not to be silly - how could I tell by looking at her gums that she was going to have a gap tooth. To me it was obvious, she had this ridge that came deep down in the centre and it was about a cm wide! no tooth was going to get through that - plus part time dad had a gap tooth - which he then went on to cover up with a really bad set of platinum teeth - which when done in a back street down the Old Kent Road by an Iranian refugee turned out a brassy silver - in short he has the mouth of Jaws from the James Bond Films on a good day.
When Summers teeth began to come through - my fears where confirmed. Before me was one almighty gap, please do not underestimate me when I talk about this gap, tis not a slither, tis not a crack in the door. Someone has taken the door off the hinges here!! No word of a lie this gap is a whole big tooth wide. Which I work out to be a 5mm wide actually - which is a huge amount of open mouth to have. I thought as more and more of her teeth grew the gap would get smaller - it didn't, if anything it got bigger.
Everyone who sees her would say how cute she was with her missing tooth, ''its not, its her gap'' I would have to inform them quickly. I think about people in the public eye with gaps, Madonna, Vanessa Paradis, Amy Winehouse - but there gaps are insignificant in comparison.
Part Time dad and his Jamaican lot say that in their country its believed to be a sign of Riches to come - hmmmmm well that clearly wasn't the case for PT Dad who count corned beef as a luxury meal.
I even took her to the dentist to see what he thought - he was quite optimistic, he thought I was overreacting (OK so asking for a 5 yr old to have veneers fitted is a bit much) but he was convinced that when her adult teeth come through the gap will close. He asked me bring her in for regular check ups - I reckon he is planning on retiring off the cost of those braces in 6 years time.
So I sit and wait for those sodding two front teeth to fall out, the right has been on wobble mode for about a month now. I wobble it, she wobbles it but it wont budge, every other tooth around the front two is popping out in a matter of days - when she smiles at the moment it looks like a chess board.
Yesterday when a non important lower molar fell out - a half heartedly shoved a pound under her pillow. But I told her that the tooth fairy sent me a text - saying that if she can get her front teeth out by Christmas she is in store for an extra special treat. Lets face it I need to know what those teeth are planning - in case I have to get saving!