I found her this afternoon swimming in the bath tub surrounded by 20 or so swollen up Tampons. She had unwrapped each and every one of them, slung them into the bath to watch them inflate, She swung them around her head, stuck them to the wall, even sucked the water from them. She talked to them, petted them because they were her little mice.
I gave her a blank look –nothing surprises me anymore. I sit on the toilet seat just watching her. She wants a reaction, but I don’t have the energy to shout. She pelts me with wet Tampons willing me to react, laugh, scream or shout.
We have a full week together – 24hrs a day, for 7 days, quality mum and Summer time. Away from the office, during the school holidays, pure one on one. We have zero funds to play with until payday that falls into back end of our time together where my aim then is to keep her occupied and show her love by buying her things and taking her places. I will treat her as Jermaine Deffo treats a WAG. Wine her dine her take her shopping, make her my one and only for a week. Then simply fuck off.....back to work in my case. But for now she needs to be occupied on the cheap and my Tampons are working well enough.
Later in the day I decide to bring back ‘Thomas’ – Thomas came into Summers life when she was around 2. Thomas is me, but with a strong African accent. Thomas comes out when she needs an African style harsh telling off, when Summer has upset mummy ‘Thomas’ comes out and says his piece. I largely use Thomas because it freaks Summer out. I know its potentially damaging for a child to see their mother turn suddenly into a middle aged African man, but it makes me laugh and scares the shit out of her which also makes me laugh. Summer didn’t have the weird imaginary friend phase so I kind of forced it onto her, what better friend to have than harsh talking Thomas with overbearing Christian values.
She is quietly watching TV – I walk in stick my belly out and say ‘ eh, lady Summa, what is dis your madda is telling me about your bhad behaviora whit di Tampons maaaaaaan, you should not disrespect your madda in this way’ (please read that again in an African accent to get the full affect)
‘’where’s mummy? I am sorry Thomas please bring mummy back ??’ hahahaha she’s scared now – that’s right missy you mess with me you mess with Thomas.
Later we head to Sainsbury’s to buy some ingredients for Cake Pop making because this is what children enjoy doing with mothers – this is what Google said I should do. I also note to pick up more Tampons. We take our ingredients and array of sprinkles to the spotty teenager on check out. He scans through the items as Summer watches each one pass though. When he handles the Tampons Summer shouts ‘’everybody, mum is going to stick those up her bum’ as peoples faces go red, Summer cackles as I drag her out of the store.
Wait till we get home to Thomas
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